Unforgivable.

That is the only word that can describe my COMPLETE absence for so, so long.

I blame it on three things.

First, of course, on myself, because the second two reasons should not have been enough to keep me!

Secondly, on the fact that my current placement is in a remote little town with little to no internet access (and the signal on my mobile is abysmal, so no chance of posting via that unfortunately).

Thirdly, I have just had a resit exam, and so have been quite busy studying for that.

How did it go, you might ask?

Eh, it's difficult to say.

Teaching in ten minutes, so I am off now, but this is my last week in said remote little town and of course that exam is now over, so I should be posting more from now on. Finals are fast approaching though, so I'm unsure that the quality of the posts will be as good as it should be, but sitll.

Next task - and I will try to get this sorted before the next entry - to sort my elective!!

All for now :) x

Resolution Time

Oh God.

Okay, from now on:

Will...
1) stop feeling sorry for myself
2) actually begin studying properly and weekly, rather than leaving it all until a week before finals
3) attempt to actually improve upon my ridiculously poor therapeutics knowledge (when one's mind goes blank at the question 'side effects of steroids?' one knows she is in Deep Shit)
4) SORT ELECTIVE BY END OF NOVEMBER!!!
5) stop crying at X Factor
6) stop crying at period dramas
7) acknowledge that usually, the SO is trying to help, not ruin things
8) keep keep keep on WRITING! This includes the chick-lit backlog I intend for a niche market to devour one day

More later.

xx

Natural Talent vs Hard Work

So, this is a pretty random post, but its about an unusually profound experience (yeah, I didn't have many) I had as a kid.

It's sort of like the thing you might read in a book, so you'll just have to take my word for it that this story is not actually made up.

Basically, when I was about eight or so, I used to do gymnastics (I quit at the age of ten after realising I was, to put it bluntly, quite shit). After our beginners' class was over, I'd go meet my mum in the viewing area and we'd sometimes stay a bit longer, watching the slightly more advanced classes.

Just before one such class was about to start, two girls were practicing.

One was about six years old, and effortlessly swinging round and round a horizontal beam, with exceptional grace and remarkable strength (she was using just her arms). She looked as though she was loving it.

On another beam, a girl of about fourteen was doing the same, and she was just as skilled, but you could see where she had built up muscle in her upper arms over the years, and the concentration etched on her face.

Neither girl missed a beat, and were extremely proficient, but my mother pointed at them and said, "That little girl? She's got a gift. She'll never have to try too hard in gymnastics, and still might go on to be champion in her field. That older girl also has a gift, but its not in gymnastics. She's clearly worked extremely hard to get to the level she is. She may also do well, but she'll have to put in double the effort."

Go ahead and ponder. I just thought I'd share it with you...it was one of the first things that taught me that natural talent and hard work are two very different things, and that you should probably try not to waste a God-given skill.

Not that I necessarily follow ANY of that over a decade later, but yeah.

xx

'Yeah, I don't think it'll come to anything.'

...my lovely (he IS lovely, he's just also a surgeon) daddy's response to the following, which I excitedly told him over the phone last night:

"You remember my F1 friend? Well, she says one of her F1 colleagues really isn't enjoying being a doctor, and she's looking to go into some sort of writing profession, potentially medical journalism. So I'm going to meet with her next week to see how she's going about it!"

Fabulous. Thanks, dad. I know it's his role to be realistic and to warn me in advance when he can foresee my daydreams being crushed, but still.

To be honest, I'm not sure what will be achieved by speaking with her. But if I start F1 and feel the same way as she does, then I'd like to know what my options are; so speaking to her seems a good idea.

Will update on how it goes, of course!

In other news, the Lancet offer some kind of internship programme to medical students as well, so I've contacted them in addition to the BMJ. Can't hurt, can it?

Off now for a talk on the UKFPO (or MTAS) job application process for medical students xx

P.S. By the way, in case anybody non-medical ever stumbles across this, F1 refers to a 'foundation year one' doctor, i.e. the most junior doctor)

Orthopaedic Surgeons: Medicine's Marmite

I have some - not many - friends who *genuinely*do hardly any work throughout the whole year, and then at the end, they somehow manage to cram everything they need to know - and they do really really well.

The worst thing about that is not the fact that they do it; but the fact that I once-upon-a-time thought I could do the same.

Yeah, I can't.

It was a hard lesson to learn, and time management is a lot more difficult than I anticipated (this being the first year that I've realised the cramming will not work for me, even if it might for others).

But enough of that! Mini rant over...

I don't know if I already mentioned this, but I'm currently on my orthopaedic / rheumatology attachment. I'm actually enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would, and - oh dear God, I can't believe that as a 'reluctant medic', I'm about to say this, but - I like the orthopaedic side of things!

Oh, don't get me wrong - I could never be an ortho surgeon. I have neither the upper body strength nor the testosterone, but I do quite like the theatre banter and I love the fact that it's so straightforward.

Don't repeat the above to anybody though. We wouldn't want people to think I had changed my ways :P

I had an interesting discussion with a fellow student about orthopaedic surgeons the other day. The girl in question is very ambitious and since first year, I've assumed her eventual aim to be a surgical one, and she's mentioned orthopaedics in the past as well.

Me being me, I never really listened, and 'orthopaedic surgery' were words that might as well have been in Swahili for all they meant to me. I wasn't interested and didn't care.

So it was REALLY funny when I said to her 'Oh, I'm actually quite enjoying orthopaedics!', and she responded, 'Really?! I've been completely turned off it by some of the totally awful surgeons!'

I was a little bit surprised given surgery was apparently her heart's one true love, and orthopaedics seemed so hardcore that it would definitely have been within the types of surgery she'd consider the best. So naturally I asked why, and said, 'They seem great to me! They're a bit laddish, but the banter is wicked!'

Her response? A sniffy 'Yes, well, I'm not surprised YOU think that. I just think they're arrogant bastards.'

...I'm not really sure what that says about what she thinks of me? But I found it pretty hilarious, anyway. I like this girl a lot, but I couldn't help snorting with laughter at that last response; didn't go down too well...

Anyway. More later, off to bed now! xx

An Epiphany

It's recently struck me - in full force, that is, as opposed to in the pipe dream fashion - that if I'm genuinely a 'reluctant medic' then I might need an alternate career path, and I might have to start working towards that sooner rather than later.

This entirely unwanted epiphany occured after I realised that I have less than six months to go before the dreaded period of time known as 'finals'.

Finals being a full blown 'FML' if there ever was one, and especially for me.

I desperately want to apply for the Clegg Scholarship for my elective, which is an 8 week placement with the BMJ (you know, a great alternative to a clinical placement), but the only thing is, they don't let you start applying until gone October, which is a little irritating, being as my elective period is from mid March, so this gives very little time in between to plan a back up.

And I'll definitely need a back up. Because I bet the scholarship is quite competitive.

I really need to brush up on my knowledge of medical journalism, and how the BMJ works, and so on, before I apply, though. And especially so if I'm going to consider it the potential alternate career path...

Enough musings. I'm off to go look up the editor.

FML indeed...

I know, I know, it's been AGES...

...and for this, to those few that may actually be reading my blog, I apologise.

It's been a really busy few months; really, really feeling that it's my final year. I'm currently partway through my orthopaedic and rheumatology attachment and am, weirdly, for once, actually enjoying myself.

Not that I envision a career in orthopaedics, of course. I have neither the strength nor the testosterone.

But, perhaps rheumatology? And in whichever case, I know I'd probably be all right doing an F2 placement in orthopaedics.

This is useful in case its paired with another speciality I like when applying for jobs at the end of October.

Oh, God, it's much too soon...

The week when those in 'the year above' became F1s - that is, junior doctors - has passed, and my God, it feels weird having friends offer to treat you to dinner and teach you on the wards. But it's also pretty cool.

Anyway, I've just returned from an oncall and am thoroughly shattered, so more later. And sooner, I promise!!!

xx

Not impressed.

So, I recently had something termed a 'surgical workshop', with mock OSCE stations (though we were assured they would be informal).

I have done this sort of thing before, and knew what to expect. I also knew that I was a bit sketchy on some of the potential stations, but was prepared to accept being told off by the doctors, if it meant an improvement in my skills.

What I didn't count on was one of the doctors (an F1 or an F2, I can't remember which, but certainly not higher) being, for want of a more polite term, a complete - actually, I had better use a more polite term...hmmm...okay, what I didn't count on was him being so pretentious and rude.

I did not mind in the slightest his harsh comments on my technique (the station was to do an abdominal exam), where I felt it due. What really annoyed me, though, was at the end when I said, following a tirade of (admittedly deserved) horribleness (sort of hoping for a tiny bit of positive feedback, since I'd received none so far, and I knew that there had been SOME good things in my examination), "So, was there anything else major I could have improved on, or was the rest okay?" , the following exchange took place...

Him: "Well, in an abdominal exam, you kind of inspect generally then go to the hands, then you go to the face and so on. I've no idea why you went for the eyes first."

Me: "Well, after general inspection, I've always done it top to toe. I didn't realise it mattered. I was taught it that way."

Him (smirking with disbelief, patient's still there by the way): "Oh really? Who taught you that then?"

Me: "I can't even remember. I've ALWAYS done it that way."

Him (with a derisive laugh, and the most pretentious tone you can imagine): "Well, I went to (says name of my uni), and I was never taught that way."

Me (obviously pissed off now): "Well. All right then. Thanks very much."

What in the world was that about?! I thought it made no ounce of difference which way round it happened, as long as both were covered. And I've had some pretty mean consultants (CONSULTANTS) watch me do abdomen exams in the top-to-toe manner and they've never had a problem with this method.

Well, there you go. A prime example of 'acting above your standard' at its best, I feel.

The famous 'Bell Curve'

D'you know what struck me the other day?

They supposedly select 'the best of the best' (ahem) students for medical school, right?

Then why does the bell curve appear again in terms of performance...surely we should all be on par...?

The obvious answer is that no matter what the distribution of marks - be it five between the top and bottom or be it fifty, a bell curve can still be drawn.

But forget the graph, then. In terms of speaking to people - we all have different attitudes towards the course, if not different marks. Some people are keen as hell (regardless of whether they need to be, obviously performance is a combination of hard work AND intelligence), and some aren't (once more, regardless of whether they need to be, though usually when they don't need to be).

If they're selecting the best of the best, the most dedicated, then why does that distribution appear every year? Do they have, like, a 'hard working' quota to fill, a 'party-hard-but-still-do-well' quota and a 'slacker' quota or something? They MUST do, given that it happens every year.

Either that or we, like, fall into place as that's, like, the natural order. This makes no sense, though. As apparently they pick the best of the best...

No idea. Perhaps there is an obvious answer. Falling into the latter category of the above three, though, it's not apparent to me...

More later x

We're final year students now...

....what the f**k happened, and how did it happen so damn fast?

Not going to lie, exam results were more than a bit shit, but nothing that will hinder me in the long term.

Anyway, today was my brand new shiny first day in final year, and I just have one word, but I probably shouldn't use it (again) here.

Anyway off to BED now, as so shattered.

More later! x

'THERE he is! There's Tom Hanks!!', 'What's the film called again?!'

So, yesterday, I went to London with the girls for a day of shopping, ambling, eating good food, having great fun in the interactive bits of the science museum, and seeing celebs, including Tom Hanks.

Okay, okay. So we didn't exactly KNOW we were going to see Tom Hanks. After our long, happy day, one of my friends suggested heading to Westfield to meet with a couple of her uni mates for dinner, and so head there we did - only to discover there was a premiere of a film happening, and thus swathes of red carpet, security, and masses of public.

We also spied David Hasselhoff and Sophie Ellis Bextor (who looked as though she was half asleep, for some reason, but still happy as she sang), and some lady dressed like a disco ball (hanging off the Hoff's arm).

(Incidentally, when I excitedly texted my family about these Glam Happenings, my mother immediately assumed I was at Madam Tussaud's, and so wasn't very impressed at all, until I gave a proper account later. And even then, my father suggested that maybe I'd gotten confused and that it wasn't really Tom Hanks that I saw. I'm not sure whether to feel amused or affronted by this)

Annnyway, great fun was had by all of us, and here's a suitably harsh account of the general event.

The film is called Larry Crowne, and I think it looks all right! Will decide properly once have seen it, of course.

We didn't manage to get any autographs or photos WITH the stars (though one of my friends got a great one of Mr Hanks himself looking possessed), having arrived too late, since obviously we hadn't even known the event was happening, and so being a fair distance away.

But in other, only mildly less exciting news, we DID have our photo taken with the model of Jack Sparrow in the Disney store on Oxford Street.

Currently preparing for an upcoming holiday to Malta! More on this later :) x

'You're ALMOST there! But not quite.'

So, I failed my driving test.

I am pretty annoyed with myself, considering the extortionate amount we had to pay for it, because I failed it on something I absolutely could have prevented. I got a few minors, not many, but I failed on a serious - basically, at a junction, I moved off a bit earlier than I ought to have, and so was dangerously close to the car whizzing past at the time.

And you know why? Now, I am NOT trying to blame my instructor. Let me get that clear. But, I am USUALLY super cautious at junctions. Too much so. He always tells me that. And all I could hear at that junction was my instructor's voice in my head saying, incessantly, as he does every lesson to 'Go! Don't wait! GO!', so I tried to - the gap was just a LITTLE too small for little inexperienced me, though, and hence the f***-up. I should have waited. I know what my instructor's trying to teach me, I just haven't mastered it yet - and so today, it would have been better to simply have got a minor for hesitation.

Ah, never mind. Bring on the next (hideously expensive *shudder*) test. No slots until July though; also annoying...I'm going to have to somehow fit it in somewhere during placement. Currently I've booked it at home again (i.e. here, where I took the most recent test, not in my university city), but I'm wondering if it would be better to get an instructor in my university city now. Hmmm...decisions.

Anyway, more later, when my irritation has died down...!

More movies, and Jack or Philip?

So, being as none of my school friends are back from university yet, I've been watching a LOT of films whilst at home.

I'm attempting to cover the 'classics' that I never saw growing up - and there are a LOT - as well as ones I have seen that I absolutely love.

So, the last two 'classics' I saw (for the first time) are pretty much polar opposites - 'Pulp Fiction' and 'When Harry Met Sally...'!

I don't intend to give detailed reviews, as there are plenty, but just say what I thought. Let's start with the romcom as I watched that first. I do like a good romantic comedy as much as the next girl, but I'm not quite as easily pleased as a lot of girls. (For example, I'm never watching the 'Sex and the City' film again if I can help it...)

'When Harry Met Sally...' was awesome though! I can't believe I hadn't seen it before! It's supposed to be the original brilliant romantic comedy that gave rise to lots of little relationship-related pop culture type things, so I thought it might seem a bit dated, but it didn't! It felt fresh and funny and I'll definitely be watching it again. And again. And again, predictably with ice cream.

And as for 'Pulp Fiction', well, it wasn't BAD - I did enjoy it - more so than I think I maybe should have - but it's not going up there in my top films. This is probably because it's more of a boy's film. I can see why it's become a classic though, I think that style of cinematography was unique for the time (whether being introduced or re-introduced, it was out-of-the-ordinary).

And now the second part of my title.

I was engaged in a thoroughly meaningless and very enjoyable debate this morning as to whether Jack Sparrow - sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow - or Philip Swift (characters from the newest 'Pirates' film) was the more attractive. Both held different types of appeal. I can't choose between Jack's lovable weirdness, undeniable charm and the whole pirate thing (or, if you like, the 'bad boy' thing) and Philip's earnestness, vulnerability, and good looks.

God, I love having no exams to revise for.

In order to maybe start to do something a bit more worthwhile now I've had a full week of complete laziness, I'm going to attempt to begin writing again (as in, fictional things). Keep an eye out for a new blog under the same profile, where the pieces I'm brave enough to share with my lack of an audience will be posted.

Much love, and best of luck to students still preparing for exams! x

Guilt-free lounging, movies, and Jack Sparrow

Exams finished last Friday. And now it's certain - they WERE the hardest exams so far. My attending two conferences the week before did me no favours, but I had been accepted for presenting my BMedSci research (only as a poster, but still), and the consequent promise of highly coveted MTAS points was too great.

Still, never mind. Maybe I will have scraped through. Although I doubt I'll have scraped through them all - it will be particularly miraculous if I pass my Psychiatry OSCE. My first station was a disaster (mostly owing to the fact my examiner seemed to be deaf, or perhaps she was feigning deafness to see how I'd react, I'm not even sure), and then I was not concentrating and said many bizarre things in the next stations.

One can hope.

Anyway, it's holiday time now, for which I am extremely grateful. Guilt-free lounging is the best kind. The first three days of my holiday have all consisted of watching films (with a driving lesson a day)...currently rewatching 'Alice in Wonderland'. Johnny Depp is a genius.

The first film of the holiday was, of course, the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean film. I really loved it. It probably wasn't as brilliant as the first film, but it was easier to understand than the second two, and held its own. Die-hard fans will adore it (I am one of those), and the rest, if they remember that it's not supposed to be fabulously high-brow, will most likely love it too. If you're going to act all pretentious about it, as one of my friends did, then you clearly missed the point. It's pure Disney entertainment, people. Don't forget that. It was funny, didn't take itself seriously, there were sword fights and mermaids and awesome cinematography...and of course, the lovely Captain Jack Sparrow, although he did not sway my opinion in any way at all.

Never.

The other thing I'm attempting to do this holiday is to read a book called 'Gardens of the Moon'. It was recommended by the significant other, and they managed to get through the book I recommended, and said it was brilliant, so I'm trying really hard, but it's so difficult. I've never attempted such high fantasy before. Still, we'll see how things go. I think it doesn't help that I barely understand the politics and policies of this world, so be be dropped in the midst of a completely made up set is just incredibly confusing.

More later, I'm off to finish watching this movie now!

The total lack of posting...

...can of course be attributed to impending exams.

Specifically, starting tomorrow.

And, I have never felt less prepared.

To be fair, I say that every time exams roll round. I'm not entirely sure whether this is simply because I forget how bad things got the previous time or whether it's because I'm actually less prepared as I progress through the course.

Possibly a combination of both.

Anyway, so, more posts to follow next week.

:)

"I'll be honest with you, I considered terminating the test at one point."

Before I move on to the story pertaining to the title of this post, let me just say - the Easter weekend was pretty awesome. A friend and I went to stay with a mutual schoolmate in a (currently very famous) picturesque seaside town in Scotland, and highlights included much reminiscing, a fabulous ceilidh and the most amazing Oreo ice cream EVER. Hope everybody else's was as entertaining as ours!

We had to get the train up, once more owing to the lack of a car, so the journey was extremely long and tiring. Anyway, I'm fed up of this lack of a car as it's basically due to me STILL NOT having passed my driving test. So, lessons and a practical test have been booked for this summer, and come final year, I will HOPEFULLY be a successful, independent driver.

I actually practise with the parents whenever I come home for the weekend, and have been doing for months now. I've not had any formal lessons for about two years though - my first (and so far last) instructor was, in my opinion, not so great.

Anyway, that instructor was the one who deemed I was ready for my driving test, and at the end of the driving test, my examiner said "I'll be honest with you, I considered terminating the test at one point". You know how it's possible to get a 'minor' or two or a 'major' in a driving test (referring to types of mistakes...I think we're allowed a fair few minors but even one major constitutes an immediate fail)? Well, I learnt that day that it's also possible to get a 'dangerous'.

I think that's pretty much all you need to know. Suffice to say, I'm REALLY hoping this second attempt goes well!

Back to revision for now, and as ever, more soooon! :-)

Just had my assessment for the module, and now it's holiday time!

So, I'm not sure when I'm going to have time to update this over the next little while as my Easter holiday begins tomorrow and I'm off with a friend to Scotland for three days!

Hence I'm updating now, despite being on the bus - yes, I worked out how; God bless google (and eager people willing to help), forever.

So, I had the teaching assessment, where I taught, as I said I would earlier, a group of about ten women all older than me and all working. A few were nurses, a few were HCA's (healthcare assistants) and a few were radiotherapists.

So, it was fine overall, I spoke too fast and was better when we split them into small groups amongst a few more teachers. But my supervisor said it was okay, and good for a first attempt, so there we go.
There's not much to add, but the following happened, which was quite...interesting, I suppose.

At the beginning, I got them to introduce themselves (not individually, just with a 'so where do you all work?' style question), and introduced myself. I, for some unknown reason, felt compelled to say 'I'm just a medical student' to which the nearest radiotherapist immediately scoffed, 'JUST? Just?!'

Now, what is the correct response to this? Moreover, what was she expecting me to respond with? (Yeah, I'm aware I shouldn't have said it in the first place but still...)

Possible (maybe) options:

'Yes, I was being deliberately sarcastic just to piss you off because hey - you're not a doctor!'

'Yeah...because I'm not sure I even want to do medicine.'

'Mmhmm. As opposed to somebody with a JOB, i.e. you guys.'

'Yup. Because we're treated like crap by a lot of people in your positions, so we now have super low self esteem!'

...anybody got any other ideas? Anyway, I went with a shrug of the shoulders and a 'I just meant I'm just a student, as in, not working yet.' Which they seemed to accept as a sensible answer.

Anyway, more later, on a discussion I had with colleagues regarding the whole being-treated-like-crap thing.

Disclaimer type thing by the way: I think most healthcare staff are actually fine with us; it's just there's no denying the significant minority that aren't. But yeah, no offence to any NHS staff reading this!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I have a cold! This is mildly annoying.

The lack of updates is partially due to being a little busy and mostly due to a lack of an internet connection at the parental home, where I returned to for the weekend. I suppose I could have updated using my phone but I haven't quite worked out how yet.

I used to be so into technology. When I was about ten. Not so any longer...

It was a pleasant weekend, apart from the fact that I've apparently caught a cold, which is steadily worsening.

Even though it's not thaaaaat bad, if I were on the wards, it might still be enough reason to stay off, but I'm not on the wards. So I will be dragging myself to the far-away hospital tomorrow to observe more teaching.

So, not much to say tonight, but this happened today, which is pretty cool. I want to know if that guy who was wanting to set 'a Guinness World Record in solving as many Rubik's cubes as possible' while running managed it!

I didn't even know there was a record for that! So awesome.

On another note, this reminded me that I can't actually remember the last time I ran, for any reason. I don't just mean running for exercise - even, say, for a bus. I usually just catch the next one and then make an excuse to the person at the other side. This cannot be a good thing.

Perhaps I should make a partway-through-the-year resolution to do more exercise. Maybe.

Anyway, it is a friend's birthday tonight and as such we're going to have a 'girly evening' together, so I'm off!

(Tomorrow I begin revision, officially. So if my posts become increasingly more miserable over the next week or so,  you know why!)

More later :)

An idiot's guide to 'good clinical teaching'

I can summarise the entire topic with three bullet points in two sections. It's a gift, I know.

What to do:

1. Treat every single question, from 'what does BP stand for?' (allegedly asked by a fellow fourth year the other day) to 'What are the common side effects of phenytoin (or whatever)?' with exactly the same facial expression.
2. Listen to your students. As an observer of teaching these past few weeks, there is nothing more frustrating than when a tutor is answering a different question to the one asked.
3. Accept corrections graciously, not with some crappy excuse.

What not to do:

1. Don't humiliate your students, and if you feel they're particularly in need of humiliation, then at the very least, don't do it in front of patients. In my (humble) opinion, it looks unprofessional if not anything else.
2. Don't assume your student/s are stupider than you. They may not know the content, but rest assured, they're probably NOT stupider than you. So just don't assume that they are.
3. Don't, in the interest of making a session 'interactive', pick on random people then keep beating them into a corner when they don't know an answer. It does nothing, except for make them skive your next session.

Okay, so not totally comprehensive, but whatever. Also totally obvious, but I suspect difficult to follow.

If I ever do end up in teaching then I shall look back on this and remind myself.

The above is probably not a new topic to have been written about, but as I don't read as much as I used to, online or offline, I can't be sure. Apologies if it's a rather unimaginative post, it's just something I wanted to say.

More later!

A lesson in 'ridiculousness'

...that's actually a word. As is 'preposterousness', courtesy the Microsoft Word thesaurus. Discovering this has considerably improved my day.

I am currently on my SSM (special study module), which is in clinical education. Useful, but tiring, even though it shouldn't be, because I'm placed in a hospital that's about a forty minute drive from the medical school.

This would be marginally better if I had a car, but even then, it still wouldn't be great. We get no reimbursement for travel expenses (or if we do, then the system is about as transparent as a brick), and there is no local, free accommodation. How rubbish is that?

Then again, I've no clue what it's like at other medical schools. Hmm, maybe this warrants some research.

Anyway, I got a dressing down this morning for being a half hour late, as my lift couldn't get me in earlier. I meekly tried to explain my calamity (I would have had to get a bus at a very hellish hour to have been on time), but nobody seemed to care. Possibly because they live locally to the hospital. To be fair, I was being a little bit lax last week on the hours I spent in the office, but still.

Don't pick an SSM based outside of your medical school, no matter how beautiful it will look on your CV, especially if you're not actually interested in the topic (and I am interested in teaching and I'm still saying this).

The other ridiculous part of all of this is that I'm going to be expected to teach - no, that's not the ridiculous part -  the use of a piece of equipment I don't even have the license to actually use myself, because at this trust, you have to be registered with a professional body to use it.

I'm sorry, what? I was expecting to teach something like 'abdominal examination' or suchlike to a bunch of eager young first years (or eager old Graduate Entry first years), not to teach those considerably older than myself, and already working full time. It's a bit of an insult to them, surely?!

Well, I don't make the rules.

Will update on how it all goes at a later date!

'And then I heard the dreaded words, “Is there a doctor on this plane?”, and it was a plane, so clearly, I couldn’t run.'

This took far, far too much hassle to set up.

I've attempted to blog before, at least three times, but this time, I am going to STICK TO IT. Hopefully.

It took me about six hours to come up with a name, and then half that to decide on a blogging platform. Ended up returning to blogspot, as that's what I used before.

So, I figured the best way to start this would be to talk about the Lancet rejecting me.

Oh, I don’t mean a paper, of course not. Aside from my dissertation, I have done no other research (as of yet. Obviously).

No, I mean them rejecting my application to be one of five regular student bloggers for the next twelve months. It was an e-mail designed to comfort, I think, but being generic, it didn’t really do that as much as leave me with an ‘Oh? Is that it?’ feeling. Which is fine, really. But what I guess I wanted to share was the tips they gave for being a good blogger:

1. 'Blogs need to be snappy and informal, and above all, personal. They require a strong individual voice.'
2. 'Keep it simple. Short sentences and clear prose go a long way on the net.'
3. 'Always bear in mind who your audience is: in this case, your fellow students. Ask a few trusted friends for honest feedback on your writing.'

This would be fine, except for the fact that I definitely followed the second two, and I thought that I followed the first, but apparently my ‘strong individual voice’ is not as individual as other people’s, or maybe, it’s not anything pertaining to the three tips they’ve sent everyone, and it’s the fact I kind of insinuated that I was a bit of a reluctant medic.

Hmmm. I’m not devastated, you understand, but obviously it would be nice to know if that was the reason – however as is always the way, they ‘will not be able to engage further on an individual basis’ or something of that nature.

Here, why don't I share what I shared with them in one of my sample entries?

‘And then I heard the dreaded words, “Is there a doctor on this plane?”, and it was a plane, so clearly, I couldn’t run.”

...this basically happened to my friend the other day. Yeah, she's technically a medical student and not a doctor, but if there HADN'T been a doctor on the plane (luckily there were two), then she'd actually have been the next best thing, as a fourth year medical student.

THIS IS VERY, VERY FRIGHTENING.

Yes, it's the penultimate year and we'll officially be practising doctors in not very long at all. Something spectacular is going to have to happen in that space of time, seriously. Although looking at the current F1s, that trained where we trained, apparently something spectacular DOES happen in said space of time. There is no other way to explain the incredible amount of information they seem to hold within their brains.

Then again, they’re actually doing the job, day in and day out. So perhaps it’s not really that astonishing. However, I do think that revising for finals is probably the period during which ‘The FEAR’ (a concept I’m sure many will be familiar with) hits never-before-experienced heights, and it is this which enables so many panicked almost-doctors cross the threshold into the world where we begin to receive paycheques for our efforts.

Back to the whole plane dilemma. There is no detracting from how scary the situation might have been had she been the only medical professional on board, but clearly she would have been obliged to do something (or forever live with the guilt). Actually, on one of our first days at medical school we were informed that at least two of us would go on to save a life whilst still eager young students (or not-so-young, if we include our dear Graduate Entry colleagues), or something like that.

I suppose if it had been me, I would have gone with the standard ‘ABC’ (airway, breathing, circulation, etcetera...I can never remember what the ‘d’ stands for...I think it’s ‘disability’) approach, taken a history if they were able to give one, and hoped for the best.

Oh, the phrase ‘hoped for the best’. I’ll bet that kind of summarises quite a few experiences newly appointed juniors must have on the wards, to be honest. Hey, experience is the best teacher, right? So I’m sure we’ll all get there in the end.